Nothing new under the sun.

So, I guess this girl I dated for a likkle bit is dating someone else now. I didn't think it would bother me too much because it's not like I see her or talk to her anymore (I've made enough mistakes to make sure that won't happen) and we only dated for like 2 weeks anyway, but it does upset me a little bit. I don't think its because I still like that girl or have feelings for her, but more like she has something that I want. I hate sin, I hate pride, and greed; I hate that those things are so deeply imbedded in me. Why can't I just be happy for her, and have that be the end of it? I was talking with my friend Allie last night and she told me I think too much, and I don't even deny that is a problem I have anymore. I know that is why it all bothers me so much. I dated this girl last year, and she started dating this dude 2 weeks after we broke up and that hurt a lot more than I've really ever expressed to anyone even though I know I was a complete and utter jerk to her and that breaking up with her was the only unselfish thing I ever did.
I am baffled by my own foolishness honestly. I don't know why I think the way I do sometimes and it frustrates me. I don't know why I can't just let things go, or why I hold onto things I shouldn't as long as I do. I think it's because I want to understand, I want there to be a reason that things didn't work out. I want to reduce it all down to "yes" and "no" or "wrong" or" right" and I can't do that. People are more complex than that. Sin is more complex than that. I get frustrated because nothing makes sense. Lately I've started to realize that is a silly thing to be frustrated about though. I have to learn to accept things and people for who they are, the totality of their personhood. I can't fit people into nice categories or try and make them more or less than they are. Not only do I have to do this, but I also must trust the Lord Jesus Christ with everything, I have to trust that the part of people I do see and do understand is not for me to feel like I am in control, but to see how I can serve and love them. That's what it is all about- forgetting the self so we can love God and everyone else. I get frustrated when I try and make it about Zack Day as the center of the universe. Believe it or not, I have a hard time understanding that there are things that go on in this world that I am not apart of; things that have an impact on me because I think that they are about me when they are not at all. Perception is deceptive. Don't trust yourself ever. Christ is the only thing that lets us see others for who they really are. We understand that we are here only to serve Him and other people. Easier said than done.