lost causes

I finished my last final today. I'm pretty sure I failed it. I have no idea what I am doing in school right now at all.

On a better note, the new mewithoutYou album comes out in 4 days! I got an email yesterday that said my pre-order shipped too! (AWESOME) I've also been reading this book on Christian Mysticicsm that I found on google books for free. It's pretty interesting stuff and unfortunatly because of the general misunderstanding of the word "mystic" I think it is a valid part of Christian faith that is either largely under emphisised or else not mentioned at all by American Christians. This isn't a "Paul" or "Apollos" thing, but I really like this mystic side of things that doesn't try and make light of suffering. I read this really cool line in the book equating sin with "non-being" which I found really interesting too because I've been thinking about that a lot myself. If "Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it." Then if God is fullness, (the abscence of nothing), then what can darkness be but abscence? Anything that is not the pursuit of fullness, which is the pursuit of Christ must be the pursuit of abscence, or nothingingness, non-being, whatever. I think that each one of us is kind of like a mirror to reflect God's glory and we try and coat over that with this nothingness and then we try and make it look pretty, we paint it and add and add and add. We are just coats and coats, layers and layers, of silly nothingness hiding the truth that the Holy Spirit imparts, just like that story about the emporer's new clothes. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying that matter is evil and spirit is good or anything so silly. I'm just saying that God is the only thing that matters, and that everything that does not reflect this reality is in a state of non-being, or death. I'm talking about the correct use of things and the false use of them. The correct is that which reflects the glory of God, the false is anything else reflected.

Bleh, these are just random thoughts. I only slept for an hour last night, so most of them are probably heretical or lead away from Christ instead of to Him, if you see anything like that let me know so we can talk about it and I can have a correct view of things, or else you can, however God needs that to work.

"the true light of my eyes is a pearl
equally emptied to equally shine
and all or what little joy in the world
seemed suddenly simple and endlessly mine"