Of Wolf and Shadow

"Shadow am I! Shadow am I!
A question of a person, no said reply
Wolf am I! Wolf and shadow cast on the sheep as I pass by.
Shadow am I! Shadow am I!
or like a wearing-black-socks-and-white-woolen-locks
Wolf am I! And shadow."



It's really hard to admit that you have become all of those things you used to hate about other people. I relate to this song because sometimes I really do feel like a wolf in disquise, while at the same time, and perhaps for the same reasons, I feel like a shadown in that I lack any substance at all. Everything outside of the reality of Christ is false and empty, and I often find myself trying to pursue these things and become false and empty myself as a consequence. I forget who I am in Christ, I forget that life doesn't revolve around me, but Christ, and that other people are of higher value than myself. I think that when I am selfish other people kind of become shadows in a sense too. When I am only concerened with myself, I only see what I want to see in other people, they become two dimentional stereotypes; I fail to see them as living and breathing of their own accord for the purpose Christ has for them. I see my want and need instead of brother and sister. I see hate and animosity instead of love and grace.



"She was graceful and green as a stem,
but I walk heavy on delicate ground.
Oh, there I go showing off again.
Self-impressed by how well I can put myself down...
and there I go again, to the next further removed
level of that same exact feigned humility,
and this for me goes on and on to the point of nausea"

It's strange how fast humility turns into pride.