"Yesterday, I realized that a lot my opinions about things get in the way of my loving other people. I think certain things are right, and that there is a certain way to do them, and I've been very critical of people who don't see it that way. I think in sense I've been putting the cart before the horse. I have a lot of strong opinions about how I think the gospel and the church should interact with culture but not a lot of interaction. In the very essense of the word I've been a hypocrite."

I posted that way back in Nov. and yesterday realized that I am still in this position. I spent a lot of time this morning praying and repenting of my shallow dialogue disquised as elegant prose. Words without action are usless dribble.

"Oh, but clever words on pages turn to fragments, circles, points and lines,
And they cover them like carpets with graceful, meaningless, ornamental designs."

I've been reading this book called Holy Subversion by Trevin Wax and I like the idea that we are supposed to subvert the idols of our culture. Learning to live in a subversive way is quite another issue though. Its something only the Holy Spirit in me can do for the right reasons. If I were to stop watching movies with any sexual content in them for any other reason than the glory and exaltation of our Heavenly Father then I am being religious and blind. It is like this with every human action, thought, word. It is impossible without God. More on this next time...

A decade of music!

I don't get to do this very often, but this is the perfect excuse to share my favorite albums this year and for the decade!

for 2009:

1. As Cities Burn - Hell or High Water
Oh As Cities Burn, why did you have to leave us? This album came out at the beginning of the year and is still in heavy rotation. There is not a bad song on here. It's kind of a laid back album, minimalistic almost. good stuff though.


2. mewithoutYou- It's all Crazy, It's all False, It's all A Dream, It's all Right
Despite the fact that they change their sound heavily and remove pretty much everything that made them mewithoutYou, this album is really good when you don't compare it with their other albums.


3. Neon Horse - Haunted Horse: Songs of love, defiance, and delusion
This is just fun. Especially Chain Gang, Bang Bang


4. Dagon - Terraphobic
Straight up thrash metal goodness with some insane vocal exchanges between the drummer and the bass player.


5. Gasoline Heart - Nostalgia Ain't What it Used to Be
This is just a great rock record, although I think it's a little over produced. The singer, live, had a bit of a gruffer voice than what is on the record and I liked it a ton better when he sang like that it made the music so much more interesting.




Now, Zack's list of best albums of the decade:
1- mewithoutYou - Catch for Us the Foxes

Hands down, the most listened to album I own since it came out in 2004. I don't even know how many times I've listened to it without skipping a single track. A Masterpiece of music and art. The lyrics are brutally honest about the singer's search for God and he's not afraid to admit that he's a little confused about things and doesn't have all the answers. The music fits so well with what he says too. (only putting one mewithoutYou album on the list to be fair, but you might as well add the other ones here too)

2- As Cities Burn - Son, I loved You at Your Darkest

I know it will surprise a lot of you that this is my #2, but over the years this album has stuck with me and proved itself over and over again. The lyrics are very raw and honest, and the music towers over all the other mediocre metal out there. If you want a record that speaks to your heart as well as some music that is delicious for your ears this is it. I know some people have said that all the songs kind of sound the same, and I'll agree with that to an extent, but with nothing else out there sounding like this I don't see that being a problem.

3- Living Sacrifice - The Hammering Process

Dark gloomy atmospheres and staccato guitar playing. Fantastic. This is my FAVORITE Living Sacrifice album. All of the songs kind of this groove to them that I like a lot. It's not all about how fast they can play or how many notes they can hit. I love it. There is no way to describe this album that would do justice.

4- Zao - The Funeral of God

Good story. Great music. Dan's throat destroying growls sound great. I kind of wish that Steve Albini had produced this album instead of The Fear is What Keeps Us Here though. It would have been cool to hear it with that kind of raw production. Anyway, not a bad song on the album, its straight up unapologetic metalcore that will kick you in the face and leave you in the street. No time for friends.

5- Norma Jean - Bless the Martyr and Kiss the Child

I don't even know how to describe the awesomeness contained here in. I could listen to every song on here all day and not be sick of it. It sticks out from everything else Norma Jean has done.


I know there are a lot missing on here, but I'm at work right now and that's all I can think of off the top of my head. Love you all!

Thought this was interesting...

"What is interesting is that as we grow up our hearts don’t simply mature away from depravity, they simply become more clever at masking and disguising it. Our hearts are filled with envy, comparison, competition about anything and everything."

A truth taken from this article:

http://hv.thevillagechurch.net/blog/hvpastor/?p=353

There's a lot to think about there. I think what this guy says is 100% accurate. A heart ruled by circumstances is never satisfied.

laying it down

Yesterday I realized that a lot my opinions about things get in the way of my loving other people. I think certain things are right, and that there is a certain way to do them, and I've been very critical of people who don't see it that way. I think in sense I've been putting the cart before the horse. I have a lot of strong opinions about how I think the gospel and the church should interact with culture but not a lot of interaction. In the very essense of the word I've been a hypocrite. I've cared more about cultivating my opinions and my stance on things than I have about cultivating my brothers and sisters, investing in them and trying to help them grow. I thank God for bringing me to a place where I feel like I can lay those opinions down for a while, (easier said than done though) and just focus on learning how to love people whether I agree with exactly what they are saying or not. God's already taught me a lot about keeping my mouth shut with things, I guess now it's just time to learn to open it again but only with productive things. I know all of this sounds really vague, but honestly I think it's best that way for now until I can learn not to be so judgemental with things. So, really, that's all I have to say about that for the moment. Prayer would be appreciated. :-D

Praxis

So, I can't really say why I haven't been writing on here as much as I was before. maybe I just need to get back into the habit of it. I think tomorrow I'll write some of the stuff I have been thinking about from my notebooks. This past week I read "The call of Cthulhu" by H.P. Lovecraft, and I fell in love with it. It's dark, depressing,ominous, and hopeless. Just like reality is supposed to be apart from an all loving benevolent God. You either have chaos or you have control, there is no inbetween,middle, or neutral ground. A lot of people say they don't believe in God, but they still live like there is one; call it the residue of Christendom or whatever you want, its still there; alive and well. No one wants to ruthlessly examine their own beliefs or the underground presupositions that hold up their beliefs. Then I read Lovecraft and I see that he understands what his choice means. I like that he doesn't run away from it. I think if a lot of Christians sat down and examined themselves in this way they would find a significant amount of what they say does not match up with what they do. So many wonderful concepts and doctrines within Christianity have become just words to us. What does grace mean? What does it look like like? How do I model it?

"The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates

In over my head again.

I've been thinking about so many things lately that I feel its all been jumbled together. Do you know what that means? Time to write something out. But where do I even begin?

How Great the Father's Love for Us!

This is probably one of the most important sermons I've heard lately. True repentance is hard to maintain because we all want to try and seek some kind of justification for ourselves but God always demands the exact opposite of us. Repentance can never be mere behavior modification. That view just shows our own cowardess in not wanting to confront what is truly in our hearts.

http://hv.thevillagechurch.net/resource_files/audio/200909200900HWC21ASAAA_MattChandler_ThePathPt02-AContinuingEthic.mp3

" Walking in the light means staying in tune with whats going on in your heart; it will always be uglier than you think, and that's good news because the more wicked we see our hearts the more electric and glorious we see His grace. The more electric and glorious we see His grace, the more prone we are to not walk in self-denial and hide."